Having the Nigerian green passport alone does not make you a Nigerian,there are other things that add up to it.We Nigerian have very peculiar stuffs in common irrespective of our diverse culture and differences in  religion.

Here are 15 things that shows you’re a typical Nigerian:

1.You Shout Up NEPA.

Power is still a big problem in Nigeria,if you’ve lived or still living in Nigeria you know what I am talking about. So you get excited and scream Up Nepa! when the electricity comes on? My friend you’re a Nigerian.

2.You wear Special Outfit for Sundays or Fridays.

We Nigerians are very Religious people and very few of us are Godly,sad truth. We don’t joke with our Religious activities. Most Nigerians reserve the best of the best clothes for Sundays (for the Christians) and Fridays(for the Muslims). In fact offering time in churches are like fashion shows with everyone trying to cat walk and show off their beautiful dresses .

3.You don’t ask people their age and you don’t like to tell people your age.

Except it’s something official we don’t like to tell or ask people their age. We Nigerians see asking someone’s age, especially if the person is older than you very  disrespectful.

4.You’re boisterous and always Speak loud in Public.

Nigerians are very noisy and energetic people,it’s not difficult to identify a Nigerian when you find yourself at International airports. We speak loud with confidence ,you hear phrases like “Do you know who I am?” “My friend I will get you locked up!”

5.You call people you are not familiar with  names like:
Chairman,Oga,Uncle,Aunty,Bros,Sister etc.

6.You have two Phones to yourself alone:

Most Nigerians living in Nigeria own two phones ,not just to show off but because of the unstable power and mobile network services ,you can’t just rely on one network or phone. If mtn doesn’t have network you quickly pick up your etisalat sim card.

7.You’re  materialistic and like to flaunt your wealth at the slightest opportunity given.

The Rich Nigerians are really really rich. We buy things we don’t need just solely to fit in with everyone else. Your Facebook updates are things like “Lekkibeach chilling”,”Dubai things”,”Money on my mind” then just know you’re a Typical Nigerian etc

8.You’re always extremely security conscious and watchful.

A Typical Nigerian person is  always watching for safety.He doesn’t trust anyone around him,everyone is a suspect.He doesn’t keep his phone carelessly ‘cos he knows someone is waiting for such opportunity to steal it. I once traveled somewhere abroad, and the guy who came for me at the airport was telling me how unsafe the place was and why I should keep my belongings safe. I just looked at him and smiled. Wish he knew how security conscious  we Nigerians are by default.

9.You have relatives that you can’t even explain in simple terms how they are related to you.

I hear things like, 'Hmm Mayo here is my relative,' Kemi ,she is my Fathers brother’s wife cousin’s friend’s Husband.' I am like WTH!!

10.You always like to cook Jollof Rice when you have Big Occasions
.
11.You use very often phrases like:
Eh wo, Ehen, Chineke, Che, Ah-Ah, Yepa! God forbid , by God’s Grace,Nawa o!Wetin sef!No worry ,Go joor! etc

12.You know what chin chin, puff puff, or moin moin are

13.You’ve never or rarely visit the dentist because you don’t see any reason for that and consider it waste of money.

Nigerians only visit a dentist office when there is no other remedy. Visiting a dentist for normal check-up is not an everyday thing in Nigeria.

14.You like to add “O” to a lot of your talk.
e.g Na wa o,Leave me o,O boy!,Na Now o!

15.You read all the above 14 signs and smiled in between

Proudly a Nigerian,are you?

TY Bello; Speaking Hope through Music & Pictures

 by Jennifer Nkem-Eneanya 

Who has dark-eyes, full brows, big hair, raspy alto voice, uplifting songs and exceptional photography skills? The one and only TY Bello; a Nigerian musician, photographer and philanthropist. The University of Lagos alumni initially blew us away a decade ago when she debuted in the celebrated urban Gospel group, KUSH with Lara George, Emem, and Dapo Torimiro. The first artistes to perform at the Nigerian Corner at Notting Hill in 2003, they went their separate ways after their debut album, despite the huge success of the group, but the story was far from ended.

Although it seemed as though they had dropped from the radar for good, work was in progress behind the scenes. After spending two years in the studio, TY Bello’s much awaited solo album- Green Land was released in 2008 to huge acclaim for the message of hope and love which was an underlying theme throughout the album. From love, to family to nation, the title track of the album, ‘the Land is Green’ lifts Nigerians from a place of despair to a place of hope.

‘Ekundayo’-another song on the album- tells about her first encounter with Mrs. Ekundayo who runs Ekundayo Children’s Home, an orphanage in Isanlu, Kogi State. “The song is about a conversation between Toyin Subair myself and Mrs. Ekundayo. That conversation made me realize how empty my life was. I saw someone who was doing a lot more than I was and had much less than I did.” Thoughts to ponder…

In 2011, TY released another soul-moving, patriotism-inspiring song, ‘The Future.’ On her webpage, she relates the story behind the song. “I had committed to writing a jubilee song for Nigeria. I was moved to hone in on my message on December 31, 2010 when we were shocked by the Abuja bombings. In my view, the bombings are a metaphor of the hopelessness and impending tragedy that may lie ahead if we do not become more engaged in building the country we desire. I realize that the crisis in the nation is beyond the political. We each need to personalize Project Nigeria and take a stand for Nigeria NOW. And so, the first lines of the song are about just how important we are as a generation at this time in our history.”

TY is also an internationally acclaimed portrait photographer who has captured Presidents, Governors, celebrities and socialites on the lenses of her camera. About her seemingly divergent talents, TY shares, “Art is about collecting experiences and expressing them. For me music and photography are similar art forms. I collect experiences, stir them in myself and express it in my own language. Just like my photography, music is my language.”

TY is a sought-after cover ‘girl’ on the pages of the trendiest magazines, and her sheer simplicity and unassuming poise always add the star quality to the covers. In 2011, she collaborated with Nigerian make up brand and training company House of Tara to launch the “Jubilee Collection “brand of make-up.

TY stages an annual photography exhibition to raise funds for orphans across the country. She is also a Director of Link-a-child; an NGO dedicated to propagating information on orphanages in Nigeria and soliciting sponsorship on their behalf.

This woman of excellence doesn’t seem ready to stop her roll anytime soon, and why should she? She has proven that it is possible to be outstanding at everything you do. What’s her secret? I think I might have an idea because as I read through her twitter posts, I see this: “In God’s presence, hope is re-birthed…always. In worship, we see Him as He is and He sprinkles us with grace to see how beautiful we are.” Hope, rebirthed in God; thatsall.

Biafra Rising As Army Regroups

 Unbeknownst to many, a silent and steady assemblage of Igbo citizens is going on, occasionally, in several parts of the country, and the world.
Igbos in Nigeria, who still feel disenfranchised, and those in diaspora who have been displaced ever since the war ended in 1970, are at the forefront of the movement, a rising tornado, which without gainsaying or any iota of overstatement, is a bubble waiting to burst.
The recent arraignment of self-styled Biafran Zionist Movement leader, Benjamin and his cohorts, and their apparent inhumane treatment by the security forces is enough reason for the disgruntled and even the most apathetic Igbo, to harbour some sense of unbelonging and bias by the country towards their tribe.

Biafra rising

In a nation where the rule of law has often fallen under gross abuse, it is probably lost on the security forces in charge of the incarceration of the Biafran Zionist Movement, that being tried for treason doesn’t make one an animal, who should be degraded and dehumanized.
Also, the fact that somehow, in the Nigerian hierarchy, there are not too many Igbos occupying positions of power, either in the military or in the political landscape.

Biafra group converge

There are simply too many northerners in charge of the nation’s affairs, a chunk is Yoruba, while a few are Igbo. The disparity is starkly evident that Igbos receive the smallest slice of the cake, and consequently, they are unhappy and discontent gradually creeps in.
Home and abroad, quietly and increasingly, various Biafran groups and people who are sympathetic to their cause are converging to keep alive, the hope that the Biafran nation may someday rise again, perpetually.

Biafra group converge

UK based Nnamdi Kanu, leader of Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), in an interview with Sahara TV in March, threatened havoc on Nigeria if the country refuses to allow Igbos have the Biafran state.
“If they fail to give us Biafra, Somalia will look like a paradise compared to what will happen to that zoo. It is a promise, it is a pledge and it is also a threat to them” he portended. “If they do not give us Biafra, there will be nothing living in that very zoo they call Nigeria; nothing will survive there, I can assure you.”
Recently, in another interview with Daily Independent newspaper, Kanu stated clearly that Igbos are not regarded as “part of this people” – Nigerians.

Biafra group converge

He brazenly urged the Nigerian government to order everyone “to go back to where they came from”, implying that the nation’s leaders should allow wilful secession to take place.
“Nigerian government should ask everybody to go back to where they come from. Jonathan should leave where he is and start heading back to Biafraland because this is an announcement that even Jonathan’s life is at stake. They will kill him. Unless Jonathan divides the country, I am afraid he will pay dearly with his own life. Ask Aguiyi Ironsi, you will know what I mean.”
Kanu expressed a deep resentment by the Northerners and the rest of Nigeria for the Easterners, adding that affection can never be mutual between his region and others.
He added: “They hate us, they don’t like us, they feed from our oil and everything they do is designed to put themselves at the helm of affairs while we remain mere servants. Yet they are ready to kill us at every slight opportunity. It has now come home starkly for everybody to observe that they do not like us, will never like us, and can never like us.”

Biafra group converge

Recently when the Kano Central Mosque was bombed, the Facebook page of the IPOB was buzzing with excitement. The contributors were openly delighted that northern Muslims were the casualties of the attack by Islamic terrorist sect, Boko Haram.
A contributor wrote: “For those hypocrites, GOD is revenging for us and he is using your fellow northern Muslims to avenging for us, Isaiah 49 vs 26. I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh; they will be drunk on their own blood, as with wine. Then all mankind will know that I, the LORD, am your Saviour, your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob.”
The post added that it would have been more satisfactory if more than 200 people had died in the bombing:
“I AM VERY HAPPY FOR THE (KANO MOSQUE BOMBING) BUT MY GRIEF WAS ONLY 200 ‘’NOMADS’’ DIED….. HOW I WISHED THE DEAD IS IN THEIR THOUSANDS (1000’S) LIKE THIS THEIR DIRTY SLIPPERS……………….ALLAH IS GREAT……..BIAFRANS WHAT DO YOU SAY??”

Biafra group converge

Meanwhile, on the same Facebook page, a contributor, Ozoemena, counseled the affluent Igbos whom have invested so much outside their region to do the needful and return back home.
Ozoemena wrote: “For sure about 95% of Biafran needs independent but our problem is that some few rich men invested so much outside our region. The fear of what may happen to their resources makes them enemy to themselves and to Biafra. My advice to them is to make hair while the sun shines. Tomorrow may be too late. At the appointed time Pharoh did not only released d Israelites lost his soldiers and horses for their sake. As far as God leaves, Biafra must soon be a soverign state.”
Media is a powerful society shaping tool everywhere in the world, and the surging Biafrans have also realized this, and have therefore set up the ‘Radio Biafra, which has Nnamdi Kanu has its Director.
The station on the frequency CHK 97.6 and 97.7 FM , which operates in Nkwerre, Ideato, Ntigha Ngwa, Ihiala, Owerri, Mbaise, Etiti, Mbano, Okigwe and Orlu, all in Imo state.
The Biafran radio station also has an internet listenership, as a sister Radio Station [RBL World] has been set up to take care of their “expanded focus in aggressive media activism/campaign bringing all cultures of the world to Biafra”.
On another Facebook page of the Biafran nation, calls for volunteers into the ‘army of Biafra’ has been put out multiple times in recent time.
At the same time, a ‘soldier’s pledge’ has been released for the “genuine volunteers”, the brave sons of Biafraland who have been drafted into the army.
It reads: “O ALL GENUINE VOLUNTEERS INTO THE ARMY OF BIAFRA, YOU MUST MEMORISE AND RECITE THE SOLDIERS PLEDGE THREE TIMES A DAY…..I pray that Chukwu Abhiama guide each and every one of you brave first sons of Biafraland on this historic occasion. I salute your courage and patriotism. Happy camping”
Soldier’s Creed
I am a Biafran Soldier.   I am a warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of Biafra, and live the Army Values.
I will always place the mission first.  I will never accept defeat. I will never quit.   I will never leave a fallen comrade.
I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.
I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.     I am an expert and I am a professional.
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the Biafra in close combat.
I am a guardian of freedom and the Biafran way of life.     I am a Biafran Soldier.
It is factually unknown how legitimate the threat of the Biafran groups are and how serious-minded they are about their causes.
It may even be hard to ascertain if their agitations really carry weight or whether their dream of recreating the Biafran land is shared by all and sundry of their tribe.
In spite of these uncertainties, a fact remains though, that a movement is rising, and its name is Biafra.

Obasanjo: Niger-Delta Amnesty Influenced Boko Haram

Former President Olusegun Obasanjo noted that Niger Delta amnesty programme influenced insurgency in the Northeast, defining the agenda as a failure.

Former President Obasanjo at the presentation of his book in Lagos.

Former president also said that the Jonathan administration’s tactic to restrict the activities of the terrorists “had taken the form of throwing money at the problem, particularly stuffing the pockets and bank of the militants’ leadership with obscene cash in reckless and unsustainable manner.”
Obasanjo uttered these opinions in his latest book, “My Watch”, a three-volume autobiography which was unveiled in Lagos despite a warning court order got by the leader of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) in Ogun State, Buruji Kashamu, against the publication or presentation of the book.
He explained that the way and manner in which the militants were deepened by the Federal Government (FG) powered the Boko Haram terrorists.
“The idea is that ‘what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.’ After that (Niger Delta amnesty programme) is accomplished, I suppose the Movement for Actualisation of the Sovereign State of Biafra (MASSOB) in the south east will make their own demand, which of necessity must heeded. And finally, Odua Peoples Congress (OPC) in the south west will not be left out,” Obasanjo stated.
The former president also smashed out at the late President Umaru Yar’Adua and the incumbent, President Jonathan-led administration on security under their watch, emphasizing that it was one of the things that “got me worried.”
Speaking on Jonathan’s answer to the abduction of more than 200 schoolgirls in Chibok, Borno State, Obasanjo said: “The one incident that overtly and graphically exposed the ineptitude, ineffectiveness, inefficiency, carelessness, cluelessness, callousness, insensitivity and selfishness of Goodluck Jonathan was the abduction of about 276 schoolgirls from Chibok in Borno State by Boko Haram.
“The reaction and attitude of our president and his household was that of non-belief, to the extent that 18 days passed before he grudgingly conceded to accept the reality of the abduction. If serious action had been taken within 48 hours, the story could have been different. Seventy-two hours was, for me, too late. After all, there would have been logistics required for moving almost 390 girls through the bush and small settlements by the Boko Haram.”
However, the chairman, Organisation and Mobilisation Committee of the PDP, Buruji Kashamu, threatened to drag Obasanjo to court for contempt of the court.
He faulted Obasanjo of going ahead to launch his memoirs in spite of a court order restraining him.
The former president has finally launched his controversial autobiography ‘My Watch’ at the Lagos Country club Ikeja, Lagos, on December 9, 2014 despite the court’s order.

Toni Payne Goes Emotional, Says She Loved The Wrong Person

Popular Singer 9ice’s ex-wife, Toni Payne who is also the mother of the singer’s first child has taken to her Instagram page to pen down her grievances.

Toni Payne

Toni Payne who is a television host and lifestyle writer has gotten emotional in a new post she made on her instagram page. This is coming just few days after she reacted angrily to fans who accused her of cheating on her ex-husband. The lifestyle writer says she feels bad that she is being accused wrongly and that this is all happening because she loved the wrong person…..
The other day I lost my cool when I shud av ignored cos I let people who do not matter get to me. It got me trending in a way I did not like and that for me I can’t ignore. Till today, I get an unreasonable amount of hate for something I did not do. I ignore most times but this time I reacted. I’ve been thru a lot so sometimes I find them hard to ignore, maybe because Iv addressed it to the point that it feels like it will never go away. Iv been called every name in the book, bitch, attn seeker, etc simply because I loved the wrong person but still I held my head high choosing to carry on.
I do my best to stay true to who I am and be a good person. Tho sum may deem it weakness, I’m a free spirit and av no problem baring my soul so yes I’ll admit, even though I’m strong, it sometimes gets to me. Not because their opinions matter but because I even have to deal with it in the first place and most of the time it feels surreal. I understand that not everyone will like me, so they will use anything they can against me. I probably wouldn’t care if it was something I actually did.
Then I’ll accept that It is what it is. I wish I could explain the feeling of being wrongly accused in that magnitude. It’s like a million welts digging deep at your soul, and no one seems to understand you. To some it’s funny, to some it’s a headline, to me, it’s reassurance I have to give my son that a nasty rumor was badly mismanaged. It’s the explaining I will be doing in the years to come.
It’s irritating when it keeps popping up and I have to turn the other cheek but I’m learning each day to always keep my cool. I’m happy and content but also human. Excuse me if I react sometimes to stupidity thrown in my direction.. God gave me a fresh start and for that I should be grateful.. Apologies if I disappointed anyone by clapping back…..I promise next time to try harder to ignore and hopefully this will be the last of it… Xoxo #Osha
However, after posting this, Toni Payne’s friend, who goes by the name ‘Mamapikin’ on Instagram tookto the comment section of the post to explain the marriage woes Toni Payne had with the singer, 9ice. See the screen-grabbed explanation below:

It would be recalled that just few months ago, Toni Payne came out to give a firm and controversial warning to all women who are looking to take a man to the altar, saying that women should not stay if their man is poor.

PDP Challenges APC To Set Both GMB and Atiku Against GEJ

The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has challenged the All Progressives Congress (APC) to bring its two candidates as joint presidential aspirants against President Goodluck Jonathan at the 2015 presidential race, PM News informs.
The challenge was given on Tuesday at news conference by the PDP National Publicity Secretary, Olisa Metuh.
Metuh said: “We declare that the APC can put forth its two frontline aspirants in one bunch, namely Gen. Muhammadu Buhari and Alhaji Atiku Abubakar, as joint presidential candidates with their collective credentials and followership to face our candidate, President Goodluck Jonathan”.
Olisa Metuh states that with President Jonathan, the PDP was rest assured that it had a very good product to sell to Nigerians.
“We are confident that President Jonathan, as our candidate, is primed to win the 2015 presidential election based on his popularity deriving from his forthrightness, humility and steadfastness to the Nigerian project,” the PDP spokesman said.
Metuh stresses that the APC should expect a crushing defeat at the polls, because of the PDP`s preparedness and the popularity of President Jonathan, its sole presidential candidate for the 2015 presidential election.
According to the secretary, with President Jonathan, the country would continue in the path of unity, stability and prosperity.
He further explained that the president had been able to stabilise the country`s polity by his pan Nigerian outlook and approach to governance.

Wife Sues Millionaire Husband

 A New York woman is suing  her millionaire husband for $20m after allegedly catching him cheating on her and then shutting her out of their Long Island country club membership, Daily Mail reports.

The couple when the going was good. Photo credit: Daily Mail

Sheri Astrachen is suing real estate executive husband, Matthew Astrachen, for defamation in the Manhattan Supreme Court and is seeking $20 million in damages.

She claimed he humiliated her at the Old Westbury Golf & Country Club, which has a standing rule to publicly list the names of people with unpaid bills on notices in the locker rooms and did so with her.

‘This has had the intended effect of falsely making it appear to the Old Westbury Club and its constituent members, who are also neighbors and friends of [Sheri], that [she] is without the economic resources and assets to maintain pay for membership privileges,’ court papers obtained by The New York Post said.

Matthew is the vice president of commercial real estate firm and earns $4 million a year. He and Sheri have been married for 18 years and have three daughters.

Sheri allegedly caught her husband cheating with ‘one or more sales girls in New York City shops’  according to The post.

Sheri maintains that she should be able to enjoy the same luxuries she did when they were married even though they are now estranged.

Among the luxuries are a $150,000 Maserati, $100,000 in yearly vacations, their home, golf-club membership, $150,000 for a summer rental in the Hamptons, three housekeepers and nannies, and leases on a S550 Mercedes and Cadillac Escalade.

Man Dies Tragically in Transformer Accident

Residents of Berkley estate and environs in Abule-Egba area of Lagos State  have been thrown into darkness following the  mysterious death of a man who ramp  into an electricity transformer in their community.
It was gathered that the man whose identity is yet to be revealed was driving in a private vehicle on November  22nd  when he lost control and ramp  into the electricity transformer and a pole by the road side along the busy Agbe road beside the Berkley estate .
Naij also gathered gathered that the crash caused panic  and led to power outage in the area .

Scene of the Accident

An eyewitness who simply identified himself as Mr. Olumide said the man was probably drunk led to the accident.
“I was returning from work that day. It should be about 9.30pm when we suddenly heard that a man had crashed into the stationary electrical transformer and a pole on the road side beside Berkley estate. From the report I got, it seems the man was drunk as nobody in his or her right senses will ramp into a stationary electrical pole and transformer. The man was in that position for hours as people were afraid to go near him. His car was destroyed and he was said to be dead  and it seems he was under spiritual influence because the accident is a mystery to us. Police men came and tolled the vehicle and the man away . It was a terrible sight.”
Residents in the area are calling on the electricity distribution company to restore electricity as they claimed they have been living in darkness since the incident.
A resident who simply identified herself as Lucy said “it is sad that a man would be involved in such a ghastly accident. I learnt that he did not survive. We have been living in total blackout since the accident. The electrical transformer and the pole were destroyed as a result of the accident. This has left us in blackout. I sell frozen food on Agbe road, though electricity has been bad but with the recent accident, it has become worse.  We do not know how long it will take the authorities to replace the damaged transformer and pole .We are appealing to the electricity distribution company to  restore electricity in our community as this is affecting business and other  aspects of our lives”
When contacted by Naij.com correspondent, the Lagos state police spokes person, Kenneth Nwosu said he has not been informed of the incident.
He said “I have not been informed of this accident. I will find out from the DPO and get back to you”
It would be recalled that a couple of months ago, a middle-aged man was electrocuted in Plateau while he was attempting to steal diesel. Another vandal’s life ended tragically in Lagos when trying to do the same thing.
A man in China survived his own electrocution although doctors undertook extreme measures while trying to rebuild his face.

Policeman Tortures Couple In Lagos

Ejeh Smith a 29 year old photographer, and his wife, Grace, 26, are currently receiving treatment at a Lagos hospital after a police officer, identified as Dada Ogunsanya, reportedly tortured them with his rifle.

(L) Ejeh and Grace (R) Photo credit: Punch Newspaper

Ogunsanya is attached to the Ikoyi Police Division.
The incident occurred at the Lekki Roundabout on Wednesday, last week, while the couple was in a taxi on their way home at Parkview Estate.
According to Punch Metro the police officer was among a seven man team, patrolling the area around 10pm.
The police team was reported to have stopped the taxi driver and demanded that he opened his boot for a routine check.
The taxi driver, Ndubuisi Iheaka, told Punch Metro that after he opened his boot which contained scaffolding belts, the policeman demanded to see his driving license.
“I was about getting the driving licence when he started flashing his torchlight on my passengers who were sitting at the back.
“The wife told the officer not to flash the torch on them since the inner light of the vehicle was on.
“Because of what she said, the policeman asked them to come down from the cab. This started an argument. The next thing I saw was that the policeman pulled my passenger (Ejeh) by his trousers, and his wife went to plead with him to stop.
“But instead, he slapped her and punched her husband. He was wearing a ring, which inflicted a deep cut on Ejeh’s face. After that, he used the butt of his gun to hit him in his eye and face. He also dragged his wife on the road.”
Grace said the policeman, apart from slapping her, stepped on her tummy.
“If I was pregnant that night, I would have lost my pregnancy. I was only trying to pet him to leave my husband since he did not have business with us. I told him to face the cab driver and leave us alone.
“The other policemen were just looking at him while he dragged me on the ground. A man riding a tricycle at the time was the one who rescued me. He said the policemen must call their Divisional Police Officer or else he would not leave the scene,” she said.
Mrs. Aisha Haruna, the Ikoyi DPO, arrived at the scene. Ejeh said that he could barely see because blood was dripping from his eyes, while his wife was vomiting blood. He added that the DPO ordered that they be taken to the station to make statements.
The Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Kenneth Nwosu, confirmed the incident stating that inquiries and disciplinary procedures are on.

Man Invents Pills That Make Fart Smell Like Chocolate

As new days come by,we get to know of new technology. A new pill which helps make one’s fart smell like chocolate has been invented.

Christian-Poincheval

According to HuffingtonPost, 65-year-old French man, Christian Poincheval has made a sweet smelling pill that makes farts smell sweet. The chocolate pill is a new addition to his other products which include pills that make farts smell like roses or violets and fart-reducing powder for pets. Poincheval made it known that necessity was the mother of this invention, hence his new invention.
The inventor who hails from the village of Gesvres and looks like Santa Claus’ younger hippie brother said he was eating dinner with friends in 2006 when he realised the group had caused a gas attack at the restaurant.

“Our farts were so smelly after the copious meal, we nearly suffocated. The people at the table next to us were not happy. Something had to be done. When we were vegetarian we noticed that our gas smelt like vegetables, like the odour from a cow pat, but when we started eating meat, the smell of the flatulence became much disagreeable. We needed to invent something that made them smell nicer“

Poincheval claims his pills not only create chocolate-scented farts, they reduce intestinal gas and bloating because of ingredients like vegetable coal, fennel, seaweed, plant resin, bilberry and cacao zest. He sells the pills online at pilulepet.com for around $12.50 for 60 capsules. The web page promises the chocolate pills will “allow the user to fart through to the New Year in grand style.”

 

Since people tend to stuff their bellies during the holidays, Poincheval figures his chocolate fart pills should be stuffed in stockings. “Some buy them because they have problems with flatulence and some buy them as a joke to send to their friends. Christmas always sees a surge in sales,” he said.

Why Nigerians Are Experiencing Insurgency - Oritsejafor

Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor, the President of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), has said Nigerians are pretenders and that is why they are still experiencing insurgency.
Speaking at the Northern State Christian Elders Forum (NOSCEF) Traditional Ruler Conference 2014 in Abuja, Oritsejafor said Nigerians hate the truth and the greatest war the country is fighting presently, is the war against truth, Leadership reports.
According to him, no nation can grow if they do not embrace the truth because it is only the truth that can set you free.
The CAN president said: “Nigeria is fighting against truth. We hate truth, we hide truth and we fear truth. It is so unfortunate. In John 8:32, Jesus said you shall know the truth and the truth will make you free. Nigeria is not free because we are running away from truth. Truth can be bitter, but when you swallow it, when it gets inside, it could become sweet.“No nation can grow or develop without embracing the truth. No matter how difficult it is. In the same John 8:46, Jesus said, ‘if what I have told you is the truth, then why do you refuse to believe me?’ This is the situation of Nigerians today, we are like ostriches, and we are a nation of pretenders.
“We run from the truth and we want to believe that somehow, our troubles will just vanish, but it never happened that way, because truth has a way of creating a level plain ground for everybody.”
Oritsejafor, therefore, advised the over 30 traditional rulers drawn from North-Central, North-West and North-East zones who were present to correct the anomaly, while also calling on Nigerians to face the truth, accept it, work with it, live by it, and also build a nation of truth.
Also speaking, the National chairman of NOSCEF, Mr Olaiya Phillips, described the activities of Boko Haram in the North-East as an inferno engulfing the nation.
Lamenting the challenges facing northern community and the entire Nigeria, Phillips said: “In recent months, many politicians have tried to claim that one political party or another is secretly using Boko Haram for their own ends. Providing them with weapons and finance; yet not one piece of evidence has been forthcoming.”
He added that these politicians don’t want to help the government. All they want is to get the peoples’ votes so that they can look after themselves.
Pastor Ayodele Joseph Oritsejafor is the founding and Senior Pastor of Word of Life Bible Church. He has been accused of being too friendly with politicians for the past couple of years. There were even rumours that his private jet was given to him by President Goodluck Jonathan.

READ MORE: http://www.naij.com/339915-why-nigerians-are-experiencing-insurgency-oritsejafor.html

APC Primaries: Patrick Obahiagbon Reacts To His Loss

Chief of staff to the Edo State Governor, Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon, for the first time wrote in plain English after losing the Edo South Senatorial district seat in the APC primaries.
Patrick lost to the Minority Whip of the House of Representatives, Mr Samson Osagie, in the primaries conducted at the Samuel Ogbemudia Stadium in Benin on December 8, 2014, Monday.
Reacting to his loss, Hon. Patrick, who is known for his very complicated choice of grammar, took to his Facebook page to confirm the development. He totally accepted the peoples’ choice:

Other contestants, who lost the ticket alongside Obahiagbon include Fred Emokpai and Jim Adun.

Police Uncover Bomb In Maiduguri

The Borno State Police Command reportedly “intercepted and defused” a bomb planted at the Kano Motor Park in Maiduguri, by suspected Boko Haram terrorists.

In a statement by the spokesman of the state police command, Gideon Jibrin, the bomb was uncovered at about at 1.35p.m. on Friday during the Juma’at prayers, Nigerian Guardian reports.

He said: “On December 5 at about 1330hrs, the attention of the State Intelligence Bureau (SIB) operatives of the command and civilian JTF men on duty at the Kano Motor Park, Maiduguri, was drawn to a bunch of suspected Improvised Explosive Devices concealed in a receptacle and planted near the exit gate of the Juma’at mosque at the motor park.”

Jibrin explained that the bomb disposal unit was promptly drafted to the scene where they found the IEDs ostensibly targeted at unsuspecting worshipers who were already in prayers.
He added that they neutralized the bomb, thereby preventing havoc on worshippers and travellers at the motor park.

He therefore called on members of the public to continue to be vigilant and alert the police and other security agencies to the activities of suspected persons, vehicles and objects so that prompt action can be taken.

Yesterday, the Nigerian military had announced that its soldiers had reclaimed at least four local government areas in Adamawa State that were previously taken over by the Boko Haram insurgents.

Meanwhile, Nigerian military has arrested Boko Haram’s professional cameramen while trying to flee.